Lighten up, its not the end of the world...well that depends on who you ask I suppose. I for one enjoy good humor at anything and anyone's expense. I laugh everytime I walk by a mirror at Wal-mart. The alternative is to gross out and throw up in my mouth. About the only thing I'm reverent about is the good Lord and mothers...most mothers...okay some mothers. Some moms earn a good laugh, especially the Walkie-Talkies (walk low to the ground and talk all over town). What else can you do? We cant shoot 'em and a good CPS whoopin is not in vogue. I don't believe I can whoop mine anyway. Her H.S. powerlifting still serves her well. And how many women, or men for that matter, can swing a paddle fourteen hundred times in one calendar school year and not get charges filed on them. And that was used only after strike three. The kids in San Augustine nicknamed her Killa. Personally, I am determined not to go beyond strike two.
The closest I have ever come to being killed was the night I was doing machine guns in the living room. It was close to midnight and I thought I was the only one still awake. Well she came around the corner as fast as Usain Bolt in the 200 and ran right smack into my 45 pound freeweight bar. The end of that bar hit her right in the nose bridge on the back stroke, she dropped like a raggedy ann doll. You know the kind that has no wires or bones, just limp. As I leaned down to help her up I couldn't help but utter a inadvertent giggle at the sight of her eyes blowing up like balloons. Not joking! Her eyes exploded within 30 seconds. That giggle must have been louder than I thought, she looked up thru slanted lids and let out a scream I have never heard in my life. My life flashed in front of my eyes and I must have at that moment been the fastest fat man in unrecorded history. Thank heaven for Motel 6.
The closest I have ever come to being killed was the night I was doing machine guns in the living room. It was close to midnight and I thought I was the only one still awake. Well she came around the corner as fast as Usain Bolt in the 200 and ran right smack into my 45 pound freeweight bar. The end of that bar hit her right in the nose bridge on the back stroke, she dropped like a raggedy ann doll. You know the kind that has no wires or bones, just limp. As I leaned down to help her up I couldn't help but utter a inadvertent giggle at the sight of her eyes blowing up like balloons. Not joking! Her eyes exploded within 30 seconds. That giggle must have been louder than I thought, she looked up thru slanted lids and let out a scream I have never heard in my life. My life flashed in front of my eyes and I must have at that moment been the fastest fat man in unrecorded history. Thank heaven for Motel 6.