freeagent
Six-man pro
A guy passes away. He hadn't led a clean life, but he figured he would make it into Heaven.
Of course, he's somewhat surprised to find himself in the reception room for Hell. He protests to the receptionist that there must have been some sort of mistake, but the receptionist tells him that he has checked the data, and yes, you are assigned to spend eternity in Hell.
"Anyway, you should give us a fair chance. Do you like to drink?" says the receptionist.
"Yeah, I always enjoyed a good drink," says the recently deceased.
"Well, then you'll like Mondays. Open bar, finest liquor, drink all you want. And don't worry about hangovers or cirrhosis of the liver, you're already dead!"
The deceased thinks that's not bad.
The receptionist continues: "Do you use drugs?"
"Well, yeah, I did a few drugs, not a lot, though," says the dead guy.
"Then you'll like Tuesdays. Finest drugs -- LSD, heroin, pot, you name it, we got it. Purest forms you can get. And hey, overdose -- why worry, you're already dead," says the guy behind the desk.
The new arrival nods his head in approval.
"Do you like to gamble?" asks the receptionist.
"Now that you mention it, I did like trips to Vegas and the occasional poker game," says the dead man.
"Wednesday is your day," says the receptionist. "All the casino games, slots, poker, you name it, we bet on it. Worried about losing all you got, don't -- you're already dead!"
"Now, about Thursday, do you like to smoke?" says the check-in guy.
"Well, a good cigar isn't a bad thing, right?" says the dead man.
"No. Every Thursday, the finest tobacco -- cigars, cigarettes are available to all. Smoke away and don't worry about lung cancer -- you're already dead!" said the receptionist.
By now, the guy is pretty well sold that Hell may not be as bad of an experience as he expected.
"Oh," says the receptionist, "are you gay?"
"Absolutely not!" said the dead man.
"Well," says the man at the front desk, "I guess you may not like Fridays."
Of course, he's somewhat surprised to find himself in the reception room for Hell. He protests to the receptionist that there must have been some sort of mistake, but the receptionist tells him that he has checked the data, and yes, you are assigned to spend eternity in Hell.
"Anyway, you should give us a fair chance. Do you like to drink?" says the receptionist.
"Yeah, I always enjoyed a good drink," says the recently deceased.
"Well, then you'll like Mondays. Open bar, finest liquor, drink all you want. And don't worry about hangovers or cirrhosis of the liver, you're already dead!"
The deceased thinks that's not bad.
The receptionist continues: "Do you use drugs?"
"Well, yeah, I did a few drugs, not a lot, though," says the dead guy.
"Then you'll like Tuesdays. Finest drugs -- LSD, heroin, pot, you name it, we got it. Purest forms you can get. And hey, overdose -- why worry, you're already dead," says the guy behind the desk.
The new arrival nods his head in approval.
"Do you like to gamble?" asks the receptionist.
"Now that you mention it, I did like trips to Vegas and the occasional poker game," says the dead man.
"Wednesday is your day," says the receptionist. "All the casino games, slots, poker, you name it, we bet on it. Worried about losing all you got, don't -- you're already dead!"
"Now, about Thursday, do you like to smoke?" says the check-in guy.
"Well, a good cigar isn't a bad thing, right?" says the dead man.
"No. Every Thursday, the finest tobacco -- cigars, cigarettes are available to all. Smoke away and don't worry about lung cancer -- you're already dead!" said the receptionist.
By now, the guy is pretty well sold that Hell may not be as bad of an experience as he expected.
"Oh," says the receptionist, "are you gay?"
"Absolutely not!" said the dead man.
"Well," says the man at the front desk, "I guess you may not like Fridays."
