Wife Jokes - Lets Go Easy Here

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
 
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
 
Man bursts into the house "Pack ur bags, I just won the lottery" wife, beaming, asks "where are we going? Jamaica, hawaii, PARIS" Man says "I don't care where you go, just get out"
 
6manfootballmom":184yeh52 said:
''An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can't Afford Other
Women" :P

From some of the idiots I've observed over the years, that is really no deterrent.
 
Old Bearkat":2p90lh1a said:
6manfootballmom":2p90lh1a said:
''An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can't Afford Other
Women" :P

From some of the idiots I've observed over the years, that is really no deterrent.
I don't understand why anyone would want more than one woman. I have enough trouble dealing with one!
 
An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniver- sary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed,
"Your loving husband."
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"
 
If a man is a hunter or fisherman, he needs to get married on August 31. He'll never forget his anniversary because its the same day his license expires. That's what I did with my ex wife, and it worked great. Unfortunately, my current wife refused to let me have the same anniversary date...
 
CowboyP":1r8u9ofx said:
If a man is a hunter or fisherman, he needs to get married on August 31. He'll never forget his anniversary because its the same day his license expires. That's what I did with my ex wife, and it worked great. Unfortunately, my current wife refused to let me have the same anniversary date...
Yeah cowboy, that sounds like it worked real good for you...............
 
smokeyjoe53":783mfhm8 said:
CowboyP":783mfhm8 said:
If a man is a hunter or fisherman, he needs to get married on August 31. He'll never forget his anniversary because its the same day his license expires. That's what I did with my ex wife, and it worked great. Unfortunately, my current wife refused to let me have the same anniversary date...
Yeah cowboy, that sounds like it worked real good for you...............
It was an easy date to remember!
 
CowboyP":3s7s7yyy said:
smokeyjoe53":3s7s7yyy said:
CowboyP":3s7s7yyy said:
If a man is a hunter or fisherman, he needs to get married on August 31. He'll never forget his anniversary because its the same day his license expires. That's what I did with my ex wife, and it worked great. Unfortunately, my current wife refused to let me have the same anniversary date...
Yeah cowboy, that sounds like it worked real good for you...............
It was an easy date to remember!
You romantic devil, you!!
 
So a wife and a bear walk into a bar. The bartender says hey Betty (the wife), we don't serve bears here. Betty says, "hey, he's not with me". They sit down at the bar beside each other and the bear orders a beer. The bartender tells him "I told you, we don't serve bears here. The bear gets mad and eats Betty. Then he looks at the bartender and says "I said give me a beer." The bartender just laughs and says "I told you we don't serve bears here, and we sure don't serve drug addicts.". With a confused look on his face the bear asks "what makes you think I'm a drug addict?". The bartender just looks at him and says "well, that was a barbituate!"
 
An elderly husband and wife are working out in the yard when they come upon a genie lamp. After rubbing the lamp, the genie pops out of the lamp and grants them each one wish. The wife insists on going first. She says "I want enough money to travel the world, see exotic places, meet a handsome man that will respect me and treat me like a queen, and live life to the fullest. Without this grumpy old fart beside me." And *poof* she was gone. The genie turns to the husband and says "for you?". The old man asks "so she's gone? She's never coming back!?" The genie replies "yes, that's correct". So the old man states "well, in that case, I'll just have a coke!"
 
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