Wife Jokes - Lets Go Easy Here

[freeagent]

In the words of the late, great Henny Youngman, king of the one-liners ...

Take my wife, please ...

 

[CowboyP]

I hope your wife don't read this board Hornboy.

I ain't askeered! (Meaning, fortunately she does NOT)

Would you like me to suggest she start reading the stuff you post?

 

[mae08]

A woman is checking out at a department store, the sales lady says "will it be cash, check or charge?"
As the woman fumbles through her purse to find her wallet a TV remote falls out. The sales woman asks "Do you always carry a remote in your purse?" the woman replies "No, my husband refused to go shopping with me because he wanted to watch football on TV so I did the most evil LEGAL thing I could think of and took the remote!"

 

[mae08]

A woman is talking with her friend, the friend asks "Why does your husband like to go fishing so much?" The woman thinks about it for a minute and replies "Because that's the only time he ever hears 'Wow that's a big one'"!

 

[mae08]

Ha ha I had to get a couple in!!

 

[CowboyP]

Ha ha I had to get a couple in!!

When are you going to say something funny? Those were disappointing

 

[oldfat&bald]

A woman is talking with her friend, the friend asks "Why does your husband like to go fishing so much?" The woman thinks about it for a minute and replies "Because that's the only time he ever hears 'Wow that's a big one'"!

I never go fishing. ;-)

 

[mae08]

Cowboy tinkle and ofb they must of hit too close to home if you didn't think they were funny!

 

[CowboyP]

A woman is talking with her friend, the friend asks "Why does your husband like to go fishing so much?" The woman thinks about it for a minute and replies "Because that's the only time he ever hears 'Wow that's a big one'"!

I never go fishing. ;-)

So you never get to hear "That's a big one!"?

 

[oldfat&bald]

A woman is talking with her friend, the friend asks "Why does your husband like to go fishing so much?" The woman thinks about it for a minute and replies "Because that's the only time he ever hears 'Wow that's a big one'"!

I never go fishing. ;-)

So you never get to hear "That's a big one!"?

I don't have to go fishing to hear "That's a big one."

 

[mae08]

A woman is talking with her friend, the friend asks "Why does your husband like to go fishing so much?" The woman thinks about it for a minute and replies "Because that's the only time he ever hears 'Wow that's a big one'"!

I never go fishing. ;-)

So you never get to hear "That's a big one!"?

I don't have to go fishing to hear "That's a big one."

Ofb you might want to start fishing! Ha ha

 

[CowboyP]

I don't have to go fishing to hear "That's a big one."

OFB! WAKE UP! You're dreaming and your wife laughed so hard she wet herself.

 

[Shad Kline]

How did we get to fables and tall tales from wife jokes?

 

[CowboyP]

How did we get to fables and tall tales from wife jokes?

That should be self-explanatory. Look at who is posting on this thread.

 

[SavannahSixManFan]

My wife says her fantasy is two men, one doing the dishes and one ironing...

 

[mae08]

My wife says her fantasy is two men, one doing the dishes and one ironing...

Tell your wife that's mine too

 

[Old Bearkat]

A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man!

 

[Old Bearkat]

Married man live longer than a single man, but married man are lot more willing to die!

 

[Old Bearkat]

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

 

[Old Bearkat]

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"