Dogface
Six-man fan
mae08":n2fi629y said:
orrysay.
Wife Jokes - Lets Go Easy Here
- Thread starter SavannahSixManFan
- Start date
orrysay.
CowboyP
Six-man expert
That's ok. They have reserved a room for everyone that has posted on Newby or Warning.mae08":380k3ane said:Sorry to inform you, you may not be ready but the need is there... Hope your feeling better, by the way.CowboyP":380k3ane said:I hope you're right. I'm not ready to go to big springs for a stay in my padded room
6manfootballmom
11-man fan
During a visit to the mental asylum, George asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said George. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.
... George, do you want a bed near the window?'
I passed this test, so they can give my room to Watcher.
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said George. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.
... George, do you want a bed near the window?'
I passed this test, so they can give my room to Watcher.
Shad Kline
Six-man fan
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Shad Kline
Six-man fan
I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the airport.
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in the first chapter
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
CowboyP":10c6e1po said:
CowboyP
Six-man expert
OBK, I just took a painkiller. Those little guys are starting to look scary.Old Bearkat":36s3xp0p said:CowboyP":36s3xp0p said:
oldfat&bald
Six-man fan
Not really a wife joke, but to funny not to tell.
An 80 year old Texas rancher goes into to town to see the new yankee doctor for a check up. The doctor checks him out and is amazed about how good of shape the rancher is in. He asked about the rancher's daily routine. The rancher says, "I'm up before sun up every day. I stay busy pretty much all day long. I go hunting or fishing for a couple of hours every day. I have a beer with breakfast, dinner, and supper. Before I go to bed at night, I have a shot of hooch after I say my prayers, and all is well with me."
The doctor says, "Prayer help, but there has to be something more to it. How old was your dad when he passed away?"
"Who said my dad was dead?" the rancher answered. "He went hunting with me yesterday morning. That afternoon, we went to the local watering hole and had a couple. That's what helps keep him going. He'll turn 100 next month."
The doctor says, "How old was your grandad when he died?"
"Who said grandpa was dead? Best we can figure he's 118," was the rancher's reply.
The frustrated doctor says, "Well, I guess he went hunting with you yesterday too," in a sarcastic tone.
"No sir, he was getting married yesterday", was the rancher's answer.
"Why in the world would a 118 year old man want to get married?" asks the yankee doctor, who was about to flip his lid.
The old rancher hangs head in shame and says, "Who said anything about him wanting to get married?"
An 80 year old Texas rancher goes into to town to see the new yankee doctor for a check up. The doctor checks him out and is amazed about how good of shape the rancher is in. He asked about the rancher's daily routine. The rancher says, "I'm up before sun up every day. I stay busy pretty much all day long. I go hunting or fishing for a couple of hours every day. I have a beer with breakfast, dinner, and supper. Before I go to bed at night, I have a shot of hooch after I say my prayers, and all is well with me."
The doctor says, "Prayer help, but there has to be something more to it. How old was your dad when he passed away?"
"Who said my dad was dead?" the rancher answered. "He went hunting with me yesterday morning. That afternoon, we went to the local watering hole and had a couple. That's what helps keep him going. He'll turn 100 next month."
The doctor says, "How old was your grandad when he died?"
"Who said grandpa was dead? Best we can figure he's 118," was the rancher's reply.
The frustrated doctor says, "Well, I guess he went hunting with you yesterday too," in a sarcastic tone.
"No sir, he was getting married yesterday", was the rancher's answer.
"Why in the world would a 118 year old man want to get married?" asks the yankee doctor, who was about to flip his lid.
The old rancher hangs head in shame and says, "Who said anything about him wanting to get married?"
CowboyP
Six-man expert
I think you and your wife should both schedule appointments at Dr. Tinkle's psychiatry clinic. Y'all are sick, twisted individuals.CatWild":1qc7q8wb said:
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
CowboyP":3mv7xv4i said:OBK, I just took a painkiller. Those little guys are starting to look scary.Old Bearkat":3mv7xv4i said:CowboyP":3mv7xv4i said:
It's all part of my evil plan. Get Smokey hooked of Senor Gif, make you even crazier than normal, get ofb in trouble with the wife with this wifey joke thread and bug everyone else with my avatar.
CowboyP
Six-man expert
I think it's working, so I've decided to rely on Tylenol instead of the painkillers. I'm crazy enough!Old Bearkat":h4meuihu said:It's all part of my evil plan. Get Smokey hooked of Senor Gif, make you even crazier than normal, get ofb in trouble with the wife with this wifey joke thread and bug everyone else with my avatar.
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he wants. A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item she does not want!
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.
Old Bearkat
Six-man expert
Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.