Pun-ishment

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Here are some classics:

After we shot the elephant we tried to remove the tusks, of corse in Alabama the Tuscaloosa...but that is entirly irrelephant to what I was saying.

Q: Can any one tell me what is a corpuscle?
A: Well first there is a Captin, next there's a Lieutenant, then a Sergeant, and then there's a Corpuscle.
 
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

What happens if an unstoppable object hits an immovable object?

If you know the answer let me know because I'm still confused? :?
 
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says why the long face?

Skeleton walks into a bar and tells the bartender "Give me a beer and a mop."

Man walks into a bar and says ouch.
 
Everyone talks about how great the Texas Longhorns are so the president of the university had a conversation with God and asked for something in return. God told him thats why he made the sunset. Well the president of Baylor got upset because they are a Christian University and God told him thats why the trees and the grass are green. The Aggie president looked around and got a little depressed, so he asked God "What about us? You gave the Longhorns the sunset, and the Bears the trees and the grass." God quickly stopped him and said "Don't Fret, I made Heaven maroon and white!!"

Whoop! Gig 'em Ags!!
 
allforhim":158wvf5q said:
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

What happens if an unstoppable object hits an immovable object?

If you know the answer let me know because I'm still confused? :?
Click to expand...

Instant annihiliation of both...... :mrgreen:
 
51eleven":22cim8fe said:
When they meet people why do psychics have to ask them their names?
Click to expand...
We have a psychic in my home town that is going out of business...you would think that she would have seen that coming!!

Why is it that you never hear of a psychic winning the lottery? hmmmm :?
 
Bearkat already used the psychic-seen it commin on a previous page.
From Texas Monthly, she's so skinny ya could giver her a Big Red & use her for a thermometer.
From Jr. Hi., definition of gross is kissn granny goodbye & she slips ya the tounge, or, ya throw your underwear at the wall & it sticks.......oooohh, ugh, yuck, sick. Not puns. Wasn't gonna/shouldn't of posted em but it's hump day & Ive seen worse on here (cough, cough).
 
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