Pun-ishment

Classic: 2 guys walking down the street. First guy walks into a bar. Second guy walks into a bar. First guy says"Oh! you didnt see it either!"
 
Out in the open farming country, there lived a farmer with a hobby. He collected tractors. He had big ones and small ones, red ones and green ones, and everything in between. And of course, all this machinery took a lot of space, so he had a number of specially constructed buildings.
But slowly, over the years, he got bored of his collection, until one day he decided to get rid of the whole lot, and he set fire to them.
A neighbouring farmer visited him, and found him standing at the entrance to one of the barns, sucking the smoke out of the building to keep the fire burning.
"What's going on?" asked the visitor.
"Well," he said, "I used to love these machines, but now I've become an ex-tractor fan."
 
A farmer made application to genetically alter his berry plants. The permit was denied but he moved forward anyway. At the end of the season, his plant had produced 30 lb blueberries. He entered them into the county fair and soon his reputation was known throughout the region. So much so that people would line up daily at his farm to marvel at his produce.

One morning there was a knock on the door and several gentlemen stood outside. The farmer asked if they were there to glorify his handiwork… to which one retorted… ‘Farmer, we are here to seize your berry.. not to praise It’
 
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore
 
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
 
Back
Top