Newby

[oldfat&bald]

That's almost as bad as betting on the number of people hauled off the ski slopes by medical personel.

 

[oldfat&bald]

We all survived, but Shad mangled an ankle and Pete broke his nose by walking into a window....

Dang, Pete's getting old. Dropped his rifle out of the deer blind and then this. Or was he working on his home brewed stuff again?

 

[smokeyjoe53]

Laugh about our age & infirmities if you will.................. that handicap parking sure was nice............

 

[CowboyP]

Laugh about our age & infirmities if you will.................. that handicap parking sure was nice............

Media parking is almost as nice as handicap parking.

 

[oldfat&bald]

Media parking is almost as nice as handicap parking.

Are you still fooling them with that trick?

 

[oldfat&bald]

I need a nap.

 

[Old Bearkat]

I need a nap.

Take one. Tell your boss I said you could.....

 

[ol' gus]

I keep going back to hulahoop girl. Thats incredible. If we showed that to all the commie schools they'd play 6man for sure.

 

[Old Bearkat]

HOLLYWOOD (KCNA) — The Revolutionary Artists Committee of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is happy to announce that His Excellency Kim Jong-un will host the 87th annual Academy Awards. This will be the first time a supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has led the ceremony, but it most certainly will not be the last.

“All peoples celebrate Dear Leader’s most humble decision to host the Oscars,” said Sony Pictures Chairman and CEO Michael Lynton. “We have witnessed his strength and honor from afar and welcome the divine opportunity to explode our love in his presence. To obey Doctor Leader’s magnanimous offer to host the Oscars is perfect joy, all of his resources and talent coming together on global stage.”

Lynton helped redesign the iconic Oscar statuette “to better model the ideal human form” and offered a stern warning for enemies of the Juche Spirit. “The vile capitalist running-dogs Seth Rogen and James Franco do shame the nation and Hollywood-industry with their thrice-cursed crimes,” he said via short-wave radio. “Such villains of the Eternal Party will pay for their heinous betrayals and scandals which the era shall dutifully record.”

The multiple crimes committed by the accused will be proven at start of the Oscars, followed by a public confession and swift execution.

“All traitors will feel the bite of Kim Jong-un’s hot heel,” said Paramount Pictures head Brad Grey. “I will applaud the end of reactionary hooligans who deliver naught but indolence and shame. We strongly denounce false films like Team America which spread shuddering lies in a crafty manner.”

A triple-threat performer, Kim Jong-un has enjoyed a wildly successful career in his home country. He wins every award in song, sport and cinema, much like his fathers before him. The early front-runner for Best Picture is Glorious Baekdu-mountain Give Sun Energy while the single nominee for Best Song is “Joyous Beet Tractor, Shine in His Prospering.” A lifetime achievement award will be granted to Russell from the Pixar film Up.

Spirit of the World-nation Kim Jong-un is pleased both with his hosting duties and the awards he will win. “I am contented beyond happiness. Despite savage anti-party plots to create illusion, the mighty river flows under the bridge. The lineage of Paektu will remain undergirded and irreplaced.”

The Oscars will be held at the Dolby Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center in Hollywood, and will be broadcast live on all channels. We strongly advise every citizen to watch.

 

[Old Bearkat]

 

[Old Bearkat]

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed (dedicated to all our Lieberal friends)
Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me (nobama knows the words to this one by heart)

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

 

[Old Bearkat]

 

[ol' gus]

Did Smokey, Doc WeeWee, Pete, and Shad make it out of Jerry World alive? Have they disinfected all the seats that Doc WeeWee sat in?

I heard this was half time entertainment.....

Am I weird because I could watch that for quite a while?

What on earth is holding that thing on there? Its mesmerizing isn't it.

 

[oldfat&bald]

I would find something like this more entertaining. But, I'm an old fart.

 

[smokeyjoe53]

Yes, we are.....................

 

[oldfat&bald]

Yes, we are.....................

But you're a much older old fart than I am.

 

[smokeyjoe53]

True............. I'm amazed I made it this long............. if I'd known I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of myself................

 

[ol' gus]

Of course this would be much more interesting if a hulahoop was involved.

 

[smokeyjoe53]

Two hoops would be even better..........

 

[ol' gus]

What would she hold hulahoops up with?