Newby

[Little Doc]

I agree. I'd feel more confident with the 3 Stooges running the country. Not as much talk, and more do.

 

[oldfat&bald]

Have we actually got anyone running the country right now? Not much gets done on the golf course.

 

[Old Bearkat]

Have we actually got anyone running the country right now? Not much gets done on the golf course.

0bama and his cabinet.....

 

[JacketMom]

ok...that was hysterical! Where on earth do you get this stuff!!

 

[Old Bearkat]

ok...that was hysterical! Where on earth do you get this stuff!!

From a lot of places. I first saw that pic on Free Republic a couple of years ago. The People's Cube, Day-by-Day, and The Onion are good places to look also/

 

[Dogface]

I couldn't stay away.
I just needed some time
to remember
that there'll always be bad guys.
Its just a shame so many run schools.
jus sayin'.

 

[oldfat&bald]

I couldn't stay away.
I just needed some time
to remember
that there'll always be bad guys.
Its just a shame so many run schools.
jus sayin'.

Did you have problems with the same guy Goob did?

 

[Old Bearkat]

 

[Old Bearkat]

Brazilian, attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, was dancing with a tourist girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume.

Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.

“What the hell happened?” Asked a friend who had witnessed the entire event.

“I’m not really sure.” The man replied, rubbing his red cheek.

“When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it.”

 

[Old Bearkat]

A man is walking home alone late on Halloween night.

It’s dark, and the streetlights are out. Suddenly, he hears

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

Behind him. He walks faster, but the sound keeps coming.

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

Worried he is being followed, he glances behind him and through the darkness, and he can just see an upright coffin.

No one seems to be holding the coffin; it’s just bumping down the street behind him.

The man is scared. He’s sure it’s following him! In an effort to shake it off, her turns a corner. To his relief, the sound stops. He keeps walking but before a minute has passed, he hears the familiar sound behind him again:

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

He is terrified! He starts to run towards his home, but the faster he runs, the faster the coffin bounces along behind him!

Bumpity BUMP!

Bumpity BUMP!

Bumpity BUMP!

He pushes open his front gate, and runs up the path, fumbling for his keys. The coffin reaches the gate and effortlessly pushes it open. It’s right behind him!

Finally his shaking hands manage to unlock his front door. He has no time to slam it behind him; the coffin is right on his heels! He rushes up the stairs, praying the coffin cannot climb after him.

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

The coffin pauses at the bottom of the stairs. The man breathes a sigh of relief but ...

clappity BUMP...

clappity BUMP...

clappity BUMP...

The coffin is now climbing the stairs behind him. He runs to the bathroom perhaps he can lock himself in there! His heart pounds and his lungs hurt with the exertion of running for his life! He has only just latched the bathroom door when ...
CRASH!!!

The coffin breaks through the bathroom door!

What can he do? The coffin is nearly upon him! He reaches out for something heavy that he can throw at the coffin, and his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of cough syrup.

Desperately, he throws the cough syrup as hard as he can at the coffin and

..........finally the coffin stops!

 

[TexianDoc]

“When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it.”

It could have been worse...he could've only visited San Antonio...

TexianDoc

 

[Dogface]

I couldn't stay away.
I just needed some time
to remember
that there'll always be bad guys.
Its just a shame so many run schools.
jus sayin'.

Did you have problems with the same guy Goob did?

No, not yet.
It seems like way too many
are more concerned with making it to retirement
than doing the best for the kids.
Ironic...I know.

 

[smokeyjoe53]

Rrrrruuuuffff

 

[Dogface]

Actually,
it's more like......Grrrrrrr!

 

[Shad Kline]

A friend told me once that once I turned 40, I would quit caring what other people thought. The older I got, the less I cared. While this has absolutely proven to be true, I have also found that the older I get, the less I actually like other people.

 

[Shad Kline]

Oh, and hey doggie. Long time no see. You been in canine Ebola quarantine? Or did it take you that long to go through obedience school?

 

[ol' gus]

Why is this called Newby if its so long?

 

[CowboyP]

Why is this called Newby if its so long?

Start reading at the beginning. When you get back to this page you'll understand...

 

[smokeyjoe53]

Why is this called Newby if its so long?

He has a point............... maybe we should change the beast's name to "Mindless Drivel"....................

 

[oldfat&bald]

A friend told me once that once I turned 40, I would quit caring what other people thought. The older I got, the less I cared. While this has absolutely proven to be true, I have also found that the older I get, the less I actually like other people.

I understand that feeling totally. I think heaven is going to be a place far, far from anybody else.