Funny Jokes

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Toronto , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love children.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more,' so she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love children, and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love children, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love children, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
 
freeagent":11yfcnzt said:
The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Toronto , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love children.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more,' so she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love children, and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love children, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love children, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Ain't that the truth.
 
Smokey Bear now don't go confusing me. I know the Bible says it's best not to marry so we can dedicate our lives totally to Jesus. But God saw men can live with us and they can't live without us. I told dsh to take his night pill and he refused but when he tells me to take mine, I jump. I may be thinking something in my head that I can't repeat on this Honorable Message Board, but I TRY TO DO AS HE SAYS WITHOUT TOO MUCH FUSS. But to say you can't please a woman is just plum wrong. I can name a lot of things that pleases me.
 
ok Women family on this board I need help. The Elites are making fun of us saying we can't be pleased. Voice your opinions to show these good ole boys they're wrong, especially FREE for starting this post.
 
Statistics for the 47 most damaging hurricanes revealed that those with female names killed twice as many people. The study found that when a hurricane has a woman’s name we take it less seriously and don’t prepare as well. Either that or the female hurricanes want to hang around and cuddle afterwards.
 
The co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He says everyone should mind their own beeswax.

That’s right, the co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. In his defense, he was just trying to explain to her the story of the Burts and the bees.

You want more? Hey, the co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He was caught during a sting operation.
 
Bearkat have you ever heard " a women scorned" I'm not implying on taking lives but we can twirl around a hurricane is 0 to 60 seconds, lol My name hasn't ever been given to a hurricane I wonder what kind of hurricane it would be, probably a zilch.
 
Old Bearkat":1uyar1v5 said:
The co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He says everyone should mind their own beeswax.

That’s right, the co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. In his defense, he was just trying to explain to her the story of the Burts and the bees.

You want more? Hey, the co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He was caught during a sting operation.


I bet he lost his honey and now he's flying solo!
 
Coach Brand":twt3xczb said:
Old Bearkat":twt3xczb said:
The co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He says everyone should mind their own beeswax.

That’s right, the co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. In his defense, he was just trying to explain to her the story of the Burts and the bees.

You want more? Hey, the co-founder of Burt’s Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He was caught during a sting operation.


I bet he lost his honey and now he's flying solo!

Yep, he's just droning around now........
 
1.A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!
2.This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
3.I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 review team to a round of Bat-Leth practice on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.
4.Behold the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
5.Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always offensive. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.
6.Klingon programs don't do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi programmer.
7.Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
8.This code is a piece of crap! You have no honour!
9.By filing this bug you have questioned my family honour. Prepare to die!
10.I am without honour...my children are without honour... My father coded at the Battle of Kittimer...and...and...he... HE ALLOWED HIMSELF TO BE MICROMANAGED. <Shudder>
11.You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
12.Microsoft Cooperation is actually a secret Ferengi-Klingon alliance designed to cripple the Federation. The Ferengi are doing the marketing and the Klingons are writing the code.
13.Specs are for the weak and timid!
14.Klingons do not believe in indentation - except perhaps in the skulls of their project managers.
15.Klingon search engines don't just search the internet - they hunt!
16.Klingons do not "release" software. Klingon software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of design engineers and quality assurance testers in its wake.
17.Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Bugs are good for building up character in the user!
18.As for project orders (requirements, goals): Klingons do not deliver; we EXECUTE. For the glory of the empire!
19.Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
20.Qapla [also Kapla from the Klingon language: meaning "success" (or sometimes "absence of failure")]
 
Excuse me West Texas, you put this under "FUNNY JOKES" I beg to differ with you. It's not funny and its not a joke. I really am 29 today!!!!!
 
West texas your one of my most favorite guys. One of the most Elite ones. Bearkat makes me cry sometimes,(JK), Smokey Bear is sweet, Cowboy you never know what your gonna get from that guy, OFB he's a sweetie but don't talk very much. All the others are ELITE just because you're ELITE....
 
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