Well, I done wuz thinkin' bout how hard all them teams cross Texas wuz workin' and gettin' ready to do battle Friday nite (Thank the Good Lord, itz football season, baseball done drives me a lil squirrely) and so I figgered on my days off from sellin' melons in Llano I cud work on my autobiography, "Fitty or so Shades of Goob." I done don't mind atellin' yew it iz jest a lil racy. There iz several chapters jest on redheads. One particular redhead with a chain saw (yew will done remember that iz how I done ended up with a boat oar fer a leg). Anywayz a movie outfit outta Mexico, Pepe Suarez Productions, iz atalkin' with me bout the movie rights. They wuz thinkin' maybe Bruce Willis to done play me, but didn't think he wuz interested in losin' a leg fer the part. They done also wanted to talk to that lead singer fer Sawyer Brown bout it cuz nobody has done heard of Sawyer Brown in bout a decade and figger he wudn't mind losin' a leg fer a paycheck. Anywayz we iz lookin' at merchandizin' the whole deal. Fitty or so Shades of Goob cozies, Fitty or so Shades of Goob longjohns, Fitty or so Shades of Goob good smell'um (yew knowd, with a lil evercleer kick to it), etc., yew git the pickture.
