Tales of a traveling man

[CowboyP]

My daughter is 11 months old so i have a while before i have to worry.............20 years from now my .45 will still shoot straight

You better have it ready in 9 years - just in case.

Why would you say that???????(posting as im driving to the shooting range to make sure she still shoots straight ) thanks man

No problem.
I think I'll sight my rifle in this weekend. Just in case...

 

[pojocrusader]

I gotta 30-06,243,.38 special and a Semi-auto Commander Colt .45 ,,,,,,.....i wish i had four hands

 

[CowboyP]

I don't own a pistol. I like knives for close work.

 

[freeagent]

Perhaps the use of this paperwork can prevent unforseen injuries ....

Application to Date My Daughter...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED HOT POKERS.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

 

[CowboyP]

I love it!

 

[oldfat&bald]

Mr Lifegate Sir,

Oh Most Wise, Venerated, and Respected One,
Do you have that application in an easily downloadable format that I can print and make copys of?

Many thanks,
OFB

 

[freeagent]

Mr Lifegate Sir,

Oh Most Wise, Venerated, and Respected One,
Do you have that application in an easily downloadable format that I can print and make copys of?

Many thanks,
OFB

Your kindness is most appreciated. Wish some of the folks on the private school board treated me with such respect.

Sadly, I do not have a printable format of this excellent document. Two reasons.

1. I have a son (he's 9). My interest in such a form is only for a) humor and b) reconnisance for when he's older.

2. I stole it from a post on theoldcoach.com.

 

[pojocrusader]

Mr Lifegate Sir,

Oh Most Wise, Venerated, and Respected One,
Do you have that application in an easily downloadable format that I can print and make copys of?

Many thanks,
OFB

Your kindness is most appreciated. Wish some of the folks on the private school board treated me with such respect.

Sadly, I do not have a printable format of this excellent document. Two reasons.

1. I have a son (he's 9). My interest in such a form is only for a) humor and b) reconnisance for when he's older.

2. I stole it from a post on theoldcoach.com.

Not all private fans are obnoxious well i know of one actually has thick skin (this guy). I respect and appreciate the fine people who make this site possible...............man im gettin all emotional somebody slap me

 

[SavannahSixManFan]

(slap)

 

[CowboyP]

Slap, slap, slap, groin kick

 

[pojocrusader]

Ok I feel better

 

[smokeyjoe53]

I have the form available in .pdf. Send 4.99 +Postage and handling of 15.01 (50.00 u.s. for our Canadian friends) to:
Friends of HHR&WPC&SWW
P.O. BOX .025
Killemboth, TX 010101

 

[smokeyjoe53]

Slap, slap, slap, groin kick

How about Kick, Kick, Kick, groin slap ?

 

[pojocrusader]

I have the form available in .pdf. Send 4.99 +Postage and handling of 15.01 (50.00 u.s. for our Canadian friends) to:
Friends of HHR&WPC&SWW
P.O. BOX .025
Killemboth, TX 010101

Can i Send a money order ? or does it have to be cash? You would slap me in the groin? PERV!!!!!

 

[smokeyjoe53]

I have the form available in .pdf. Send 4.99 +Postage and handling of 15.01 (50.00 u.s. for our Canadian friends) to:
Friends of HHR&WPC&SWW
P.O. BOX .025
Killemboth, TX 010101

Can i Send a money order ? or does it have to be cash? You would slap me in the groin? PERV!!!!!

Cash, Pennies are preferred. It makes it seem like it's so much more that way......................

 

[pojocrusader]

Have you ever sent change thru the tubes at the bank???????looks on the tellers face as they listen to it come in is priceless

 

[CowboyP]

Slap, slap, slap, groin kick

How about Kick, Kick, Kick, groin slap ?

No way are my hands going there.
Pojo is probably getting all worked up just thinking about it.....

 

[CowboyP]

Have you ever sent change thru the tubes at the bank???????looks on the tellers face as they listen to it come in is priceless

I'll have to try that.

 

[pojocrusader]

Slap, slap, slap, groin kick

How about Kick, Kick, Kick, groin slap ?

No way are my hands going there.
Pojo is probably getting all worked up just thinking about it.....

Man your on a roll........did your wife call you pojo again?????

 

[CowboyP]

Slap, slap, slap, groin kick

How about Kick, Kick, Kick, groin slap ?

No way are my hands going there.
Pojo is probably getting all worked up just thinking about it.....

Man your on a roll........did your wife call you pojo again?????

Nope, but I did talk to your wife.....