How to Cook Your Turkey

[Old Bearkat]

 

[Old Bearkat]

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

 

[Old Bearkat]

How to Liven up Thanksgiving Dinner



1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

 

[Old Bearkat]

 

[Old Bearkat]

 

[MelaniB]

I have to try out the Wine and Turkey recipe it sounds fun.

 

[Old Bearkat]

I told the wife that we can divide up the chores. She can do the cooking and I'll do the drinking.........

 

[smokeyjoe53]

I just put our turkeys in the smoker............. wake me up in 6 hours..............

 

[Dogface]

I just put our turkeys in the smoker............. wake me up in 6 hours..............

Sleeping off that wine are we?

 

[smokeyjoe53]

What? Is it 9 already?

 

[Old Bearkat]