Why do yew care??????


Six-man fan
Yew knowd, I wernt goin' to say nuthin', but like ole Popeye, "I jest can't done stands it no more!" Whut in all of holy hades makes theze rankins so damn important? I never heard so much whinin' and moanin' and groanin' and blubberin' and slobberin' and cryin' over sumthing that don't have a diddle dee ding-dong thang to do with nuthin'. Absolutely nuthin'. Yur team #1, it don't matter. Yur team #57, it don't matter. Yur team 4-0 and ranked behind a 1-3 team, it don't matter. Yew knowd why--cuz thiz here league has done got a playoff. Yep, a playoff. It done determines who iz the best by the middle of December. The only league in the whole, wide world of sports whare a dang rankin' thang matters iz college football. And fer that very reason iz why yew got the biggest mess of crapola among college conferences at thiz here very minute. At least, when it iz all said and done, we will end up with a playoff and they can then stick them rankins whare they belong.
BTW, if yew jest gotz to look at rankins, go over to the association website, them coaches vote and most of the time they done got it rite. I knowd they don't do it ever week and sum coaches gotz an agenda (but ain't the whole world got an agenda), but fer the most part they knowd a closer than the rest of uz.
Yew knowd, Smokey, when I wuz in high skool I wuz in that contest knowd as persuasive speakin' (I don't even knowd if they done got that anymores) and I drew sum topic bout sumthin' at the regional meet and I went off and startin' talkin' bout the Tri-Lateral Commishyun and how they done had control of Jimmy Carter and whutnot and both the men judges bought it and placed me 1st and the one woman on the panel done placed me last. I done ended up fourth and missed out on goin' to state. But the women wuz rite, I wuz bsin' all the way. I done guess sum stuff ain't changed.
Dear Smokey,

That wuz so great, I done laughed outloud. Come to think of it, she done had one of them Gloria Steinum hairdos and them same kind of glasses.
Come to think of it, all this ranking stuff is an illuminati plot. Guru Granger must be the head illuminati.
Somebody call John Birch!!