Healtcare directive

[freeagent]

As a public service to my friends on the six-man board, it is a wise idea to have an updated Healthcare Directive, in case you are unable to make decisions concerning your end-of-life decisions. This directive helps your family and physicians to make the choices you wish to make when you are unable to participate in those decisions.

Please cut and paste the document below in a text/Word document and have your attorney find the required witnesses to make it legal:

I, _________ _____________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of posturing politicians, religious nuts, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills or protecting their butts from malpractice suits.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:


______a Bloody Mary,
______a Margarita
______a Beer(s)
______a Steak
______Lobster or shrimp
______The remote control,
______Chocolate,
______Mexican Food of any type,
______Football tickets and/or videos, preferably 6-man

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and to get a beer.

 

[oldfat&bald]

Lifegate, we know that won't hold up in front of a liberal judge.

1. You used the term "Mexican" food. That's politically incorrect. You must use a non-offensive, non-racial name for the food of your choice.

2. You ask for steak, lobster, & shrimp. I can't believe a liberal judge would consider you in your right mind if you would want to kill another living being in order to feed your pie-hole. (BTW, I like steak & shrimp myself.)

3. You assume that once they pull the plug on you, the attendants will go get a beer. With Obamacare becoming the law of the land, they will all be unionized government employees. They can't get fired. Therefore, they will probably already be drinking beer. Or smoking left handed cigarettes. Or snorting coke. Or just standing around with their thumbs up their a$$es like a Wal-Mart employee.

4. Football is politically incorrect. The pantie-waist lib judge will have you executed for "promoting" violence.

You have done a huge disservice to the defenseless folks here by posting this obviously flawed legal advice. Send me a $10,000,000 check to donate to the Follicularly Challenged & Fairly Round Body Type Association or you will soon be hearing from my shysters...I mean lawyers about a multi-billion dollar class action suit.

Thank you,

OLD, FAT, & BALD.

:lol:

 

[freeagent]

Lifegate, we know that won't hold up in front of a liberal judge.

1. You used the term "Mexican" food. That's politically incorrect. You must use a non-offensive, non-racial name for the food of your choice.

2. You ask for steak, lobster, & shrimp. I can't believe a liberal judge would consider you in your right mind if you would want to kill another living being in order to feed your pie-hole. (BTW, I like steak & shrimp myself.)

3. You assume that once they pull the plug on you, the attendants will go get a beer. With Obamacare becoming the law of the land, they will all be unionized government employees. They can't get fired. Therefore, they will probably already be drinking beer. Or smoking left handed cigarettes. Or snorting coke. Or just standing around with their thumbs up their a$$es like a Wal-Mart employee.

4. Football is politically incorrect. The pantie-waist lib judge will have you executed for "promoting" violence.

You have done a huge disservice to the defenseless folks here by posting this obviously flawed legal advice. Send me a $10,000,000 check to donate to the Follicularly Challenged & Fairly Round Body Type Association or you will soon be hearing from my shysters...I mean lawyers about a multi-billion dollar class action suit.

Thank you,

OLD, FAT, & BALD.

:lol:

Get in line ... lots of folks already are picking at this carcass.

 

[CowboyP]

Most people know I'm politically incorrect in most cases, so I might just use lifegate's document. The only thing I need to add is "if I haven't asked for snuff and a spit cup".
OF&B, I'm beginning to think you might be a closet liberal...