Dear Sidesaddle,

Well, I jest think it iz neat that our two fine skools git to square off again here in the playoffs. I jest iz heartbroke though that I won't done git to be thare and done see yew in all yur glory. I gotz to go to weddin in Okiehomie, but don/t yew think fer a minute that I won't be thare in spirit. I jest hate, hate, hate I won't git to see yew doin' yur thang. Those intense sessions of coachin' durin' warmups and stretchin' iz prolly whut I will done miss the most. Yew with the hand jestures, yew with the insiteful words, yew with the handclappin', yew breakin' a good sweat fer all the fans to see jest how good yew iz at yur craft. I will done miss that. I will also miss seein' yew fer the fashion plate yew iz on the sidelines. I enjoyed the tie from last year's Calvert game, but it done seems yew has retired the tie. But thare ain't nuthin' to worry bout cuz yew iz a coachin' fashion plate no matter the attire. Good luck Coach and enjoy the drive jest like we done did last year.

Did Goob get arrested by the FBI in Oklahoma for transporting evercleer across state lines? Where is he?

Sank in the red river is my guess

I think the Okies are holding him hostage until he teaches them how to make his everclear.