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This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays.

After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict."

His order comes a while later and it's served on a big shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?"

The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise

In the great desert lived a band of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

After leading the band for many years, Benny began to fell uncomfortable wearing the beard, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you not remember the ancient legend, Sire. The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."

Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.

Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.

The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."

A fellow got up one morning and decided he no longer was going to shave himself, he was instead going to the barber for his morning shave.

The town barber also happened to be the local pastor in town. When the guy walked into the barber shop the barber/pastor was not there, he was out on a pastoral call but his wife Grace was in the shop.

The man said to Grace, "I want a shave." Grace told him to climb up in the chair and she gave him a shave. When Grace was finished he asked her how much for the shave and Grace said, "Twenty dollars."

"Twenty dollars, that seems a little steep," the guy replied.

Grace said: "That's my charge."

So the guy gave her $20 bill and went on his way. The next morning when he got up he went to the mirror and looked and his face was as smooth as when he was shaved the day before. He checked the following the day, same thing, a week went by, two weeks and his face stayed as smooth as a baby's face.

Finally after the third week he stopped back in the barber shop and Grace happened to be there. The guy said to her: "Grace, I can't believe I still don't need another shave. You did some kind of magnificent job."

And Grace replied, "Well, you have been shaved by Grace and once shaved always shaved!"

OMG


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

I don't know the relation, but this was the next one in the que after the video link you gave me Mark. But now I want one of theose zappers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWD2gRHpkXI&NR=1

Laser gun burning a cockroach...Thats too funny!! :lol: :lol:

The MAP

http://www.morningtoast.com/wordpress/w ... issmap.gif

The former Dallas running back told me the most amazing story. It was Emmit's myth

Look at the left hand?

Renner wears me out.