He rose through the ranks of the International Corn Growers association, eventually becoming a kernel.

This Guy is Hungry

http://www.break.com/index/congressman_ ... lunch.html

Real Punishment!





:lol:

:shock:

Retired teachers are classless.

My wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the
need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I
never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and
taking fluids from a bottle.


She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.


Sometimes it's tough being married to a smart ass!!!

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is
wearing
an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally
conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into
earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies
sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity
prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

Talking to her about computer hardware, I make my mother board.

The guilty caviar was rightly sentenced to death roe.

You know you're a redneck when............

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

The psychic went out of business. I wonder if she saw that coming.

Sign on a broken perfume bottle, "Out of odor".

Is the water on your farm healthy?

Yes, we only have well water.

People can't seem to agree on Global Warming because it's a polar icing issue.

The little green men told me it was the Dog Star.

I told them they can't be Sirius.

I felt sick after I ate the scallopini. I didn't veal well at all.